I want to be invisible today. I would be a mischievous dreamer and meld together strings of clouds so that I may descend safely from my visions, finally landing with a soft disturbance among the long grass. I'd tie together bundles of hay and set them alight, drawing with the imprints left on my eyes by the white heat in the darker autumn twilights. I'd twirl them around like a hellishly fascinating baton dancer, with maroon flavoured lips and innocent cotton candy eyes. Pretending to be a lost gypsy child I could roll down hills without the ever present fear of grass stains ruining the fabric I sewed with broken fingers. Their crooked bones grab at my hair when I am asleep and put strange dreams of strange women in my strange mind.
They never leave my side.
Will you ever leave my side?
Draw me with embers and leave me to dance here, in this wonderland. Creaky floorboards do me no justice and high airy ceilings leave me feeling to small. The little adult girl I'd kill to take care of is making me taller than what I actually am&uncomfortable&out of place&terribly... terribly... ugly.
"But at least I'm still lit", I tell the ashes each day. "You may be beautiful, but I am alive"
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