in which a jealous & ill informed lover destroys a monument.

something put together
so simple &
unintrustive

&it lies in pieces
but not so noticable
to where fingers
grabbed onto it so suddenly

the scraps
they should still bear
dusty fingerprints

&lack any remaining hope
of a healing bit of tape
or care of the most humble artist

the first time learnt.

a smooth palm tree chest
&leaf green eyes
always synonymous with summer
&driving slowly to nowhere

legs speckled with sunbleached hair
&muscles lazily flexing
while letting off the brakes

i couldn't touch you if i tried
a memory
hidden beneath an aging shell

&you bought me packs of marlboros
when i was too young

drinking wine in a playhouse
where i learned that sometimes
eagerness is
[not]
a crime

not when the warm night
hugs the trees
under which
he held together
tracing
each other's jawlines with drunk fingertips
&making promises we were both too naive
to know would never keep

i was too young.

you, too gone.

skywards.

still silent water.
lethargic, rotting wood
naps half submerged
not bothered to exhale
murky liquid
and i
stand as a monument
attesting to nothing less
than deterioration
of something once
overjoyed
to tilt a browning face
skywards

title for two.

2006.

2007.

2008.


title for two. [or, the farewell richard helton poem]

cigarettes & too much booze
we never had a thing to lose
black eyeliner & cute boys
we'd stay up late & make some noise
little red pills, a line or three
my best friend you'll always be
remember the time we took the photos
in the burnt down dilapotato?
or when we went to wal mart tripping balls
& i sat there and talked to the wall
or when i was super down & sad
and my depression made you mad
you told me to shut the fuck up
and then with rum you filled my cup
you're good at beer pong & cutting hair
and getting to see straght boys' underwear
remember when we were old ladies
& talked about being old & dead babies
or that one time we stayed up all night
&that guy tried to sell us a fucking flashlight
or your 21st birthday i almost blew it
but thankfully i got you a boy named rumit
even though you gave my boyfriend a kiss
it will be you that i will miss
no one else will know what the fuck i mean
when i turn and grin & say "moose arent beans"
we've grown up now... kinda... & must go into the world
but hopefully we'll still always be 14 year old girls
and now you're going, i can't believe
but like hpv,
you'll never really leave...

cos i love you&
i'll miss you rocko fabulous!